Living together first: how cohabitation became the path to marriage

How many couples live together before marrying?

Most couples who marry in England and Wales have already shared a home. In its bulletin on marriages in 2021 and 2022, released on 20 June 2024, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) reported that more than nine in ten couples marrying in those years had cohabited beforehand ^[1]. For opposite-sex couples in 2022 the share was about 90%, the highest recorded since the ONS began collecting the information ^[1].

The 2022 data cover 246,897 marriages, of which 239,097 were between opposite-sex partners and 7,800 between same-sex partners ^[1]. The bulletin treats prior cohabitation as the closest available measure of couples who shared a home, and it gives no detailed definition of how the measure is built ^[1]. A reader should therefore remember that it is a yes-or-no indicator: it cannot distinguish a couple who moved in together shortly before the wedding from one who lived together for a decade.

Many of these weddings are first marriages. In 2022, 77.4% of grooms and 78.7% of brides in opposite-sex marriages had never been married before, compared with 71.9% and 72.4% in 1992 ^[1]. Marriage in England and Wales is therefore not mainly a second chance for divorced people, but a step that most couples take once they have lived together, often for some years. The median age at first legal partnership reached 32.7 for men and 31.2 for women in 2022, the highest on record ^[1].

For the whole UK the ONS bulletin does not publish a single figure. Scotland and Northern Ireland have separate registration systems, and the figures in this article apply to England and Wales unless stated otherwise. The wider pattern of unmarried couples is described on the page about cohabitation statistics in the UK.

Couples who lived together before marrying, England and Wales (ONS)

Group	Share who had cohabited	Year
Opposite-sex couples, all ceremonies	59.6%	1994 [1]
Opposite-sex couples, all ceremonies	About 9 in 10, the highest recorded	2022 [1]
Civil ceremonies	91.3%	2022 [1]
Religious ceremonies	83.7%	2022 [1]
Same-sex couples: men	95.2%	2022 [1]
Same-sex couples: women	93.5%	2022 [1]
All couples marrying	More than 9 in 10	2021 and 2022 combined [1]

How has the share changed since the 1990s?

The share has risen from a little over half in the mid-1990s to about nine in ten today. The ONS found that 59.6% of opposite-sex couples marrying in 1994 had lived together beforehand, against about 90% in 2022 ^[1]. Within three decades, living together first went from a majority practice to something close to universal.

Earlier history shows how short-lived the old pattern was. A UK Parliament research publication in its Olympic Britain series noted that the share of people who cohabited before a first marriage rose from about a third in 1980 to around 80% at the time of writing, while the mean age at first marriage had been 23 in 1970 ^[4]. The page consulted is undated and gives no author, so its figures should be taken as approximate.

A study of two British birth cohorts shows the change within a single generation. Among women who were in a first marriage at age 30, 26% of those born in 1958 had lived with their husband before marrying, compared with 73% of those born in 1970 ^[5]. The same study found that cohabitations in the later cohort lasted longer and were less likely to convert into marriage within four years, 41% against 58% ^[5].

The census gives the demographic background. The share of people in a couple who were cohabiting rose from 20.6% in 2011 to 24.3% in 2021 in England and Wales, and the biggest rise was among those aged 25 to 29, from 56.5% to 71.6% ^[2]. In Scotland, the number of households with cohabiting couples rose by 25.2% between 2011 and 2022 ^[11]. These are snapshots of all couples, whereas the marriage statistics refer only to couples who went on to wed.

Do religious and civil weddings differ?

Yes, but only slightly. In 2022, 91.3% of couples in civil ceremonies had cohabited, compared with 83.7% of couples in religious ceremonies, a gap of 7.6 percentage points that is a calculation from the two published shares ^[1]. Religious weddings made up 17.0% of marriages that year and civil ceremonies 83.0% ^[1].

The more striking finding is how high the religious figure is. Five in six couples who marry in a church, chapel, mosque, synagogue or other place of worship have already lived together, a fact that has important consequences for how congregations prepare couples. The ONS does not break the religious figure down by denomination in the bulletin consulted, so it is not possible to say whether Anglican, Catholic, Jewish or Muslim couples differ ^[1].

Same-sex couples show an even higher level of prior cohabitation. In 2022, 95.2% of male couples and 93.5% of female couples who married had lived together first ^[1]. Same-sex marriage in England and Wales dates only from 29 March 2014 ^[1], and one plausible reason for the high figure, not stated by the ONS, is that many couples had been together for years before they were able to marry.

Because religious ceremonies are a shrinking minority, the proportion of all newly married couples who cohabited is dominated by the civil figure.

Why has premarital cohabitation become the norm?

Several changes happened at once, and the evidence supports some explanations better than others. The clearest finding is that couples increasingly treat living together as a way of testing a relationship. The University of Southampton's Centre for Population Change, in a 2020 briefing, found that 77% of partnerships now start as cohabitations, and described cohabitation as more and more a way to test the relationship ^[3]. The median age at first cohabitation rose only slightly between 1980 and 2009, from 21 to 22 for women and from 23 to 25 for men ^[3].

Marriage itself moved later. The first-marriage median of 32.7 for men and 31.2 for women in 2022 means that most couples live together for years before any wedding ^[1]. The proportion of couples whose first union ends in marriage within five years has fallen: for unions formed in the 1980s, 53% had become marriages within five years, but for those formed in the 2000s the figure was 36% ^[3].

Attitudes changed in parallel. In British Social Attitudes, the share of people saying pre-marital sex was not wrong at all rose from 42% in 1983 to 78% in 2022, with 89% of 18 to 24-year-olds holding that view in 2022 ^[7]. The question asks about sex, not about cohabitation, so it is a measure of the moral climate and not a direct explanation of the trend.

The research also asks whether living together before marriage affects what follows. A study of the 1958 British birth cohort, by Ann Berrington and Ian Diamond, found in 1999 that premarital cohabitation was associated with a higher rate of marital breakdown in the first eight years of marriage, with the effect reduced but still significant once the characteristics of cohabiting couples were taken into account ^[6]. The authors worked with data on one cohort born in 1958, a time when cohabiting first was much less common, so the finding does not necessarily describe couples who marry today.

How have churches adapted?

Churches have adapted largely by accepting that most couples who ask for a wedding already live together. The Church of England's own page for engaged couples tells them they can marry in an Anglican church regardless of their beliefs, and it does not mention living together as a condition ^[9]. The legal route to an Anglican wedding is built around banns, a licence and a qualifying connection to the parish, not around where a couple sleep.

The Church of England Marriage Measure 2008 shows how that works in practice. It gives a person who intends to marry the same, but no greater, right to marry in a parish church where they have a qualifying connection ^[8]. The connections include having lived in the parish for at least six months, regularly attended public worship there for six months, or having a parent or grandparent who married there ^[8]. Living in a parish, which is often a shared home, is itself one qualifying link.

Church weddings have declined in number, however. The Church of England's Statistics for Mission 2024 recorded 21,600 marriages and services of prayer and dedication after civil marriage in 2024, against 31,700 in 2019 and 23,800 in 2023 ^[10]. Services of prayer and dedication after a civil marriage made up 8.4% of the 2024 total, up from 6.3% in 2019 ^[10]. The Church's own figures therefore show couples marrying civilly and then asking for a religious blessing in growing numbers.

Teaching and pastoral practice are not identical. Churches differ in what they say about sex before marriage, and the position of couples who live together and want a church wedding is covered in church weddings for cohabiting couples. What the statistics make clear is that clergy who take cohabitation as a bar to marriage in church would be refusing most of the couples who ask.

Frequently asked questions

Does living together first make divorce more likely?

Older British research found an association, but its meaning is debated. Berrington and Diamond's study of the 1958 birth cohort found a higher rate of marital breakdown among couples who cohabited first, reduced but still significant after accounting for the couples' characteristics ^[6]. Because that cohort married when premarital cohabitation was uncommon, the finding may not describe couples today.

How long do couples usually live together before marrying?

The ONS marriage bulletin does not give a typical duration, so no single figure can be quoted ^[1]. Southampton researchers found that, for unions formed in the 2000s, 36% of first cohabiting unions became marriages within five years and 44% within ten years ^[3]. Many couples therefore live together for several years before a wedding, and some never marry.

Do same-sex couples also cohabit before marrying?

Yes, at even higher rates. In 2022, 95.2% of male couples and 93.5% of female couples who married in England and Wales had lived together first ^[1]. Same-sex marriage has been possible since 29 March 2014 ^[1].

Do Scottish figures show the same pattern?

The ONS figure covers England and Wales only, and the Scottish sources consulted do not give a matching percentage. Scotland's 2022 census shows the same direction, however: households with cohabiting couples grew by 25.2% between 2011 and 2022, and the share of couple households that were married or in a civil partnership fell to 76.6% ^[11].

Do churches refuse to marry couples who already live together?

The Church of England does not treat living together as a bar: its page for engaged couples says they may marry regardless of their beliefs and does not mention cohabitation ^[9]. Other churches have their own teaching and practice. The ONS finding that 83.7% of couples in religious ceremonies had lived together means that many congregations are already marrying such couples ^[1].

Is it legal to live together before marriage in the UK?

Yes. Consensual sex between unmarried adults is not an offence anywhere in the UK, and nothing in the law requires partners to marry before sharing a home. Cohabitation does not, however, give a couple the legal status of marriage, a point examined under the common law marriage myth.